It takes some time and effort but anything can be achieved if you have the will. It is a process and YOU need to keep in mind where are you starting from and what is your ultimate goal.
So where is YOUR starting point?
The title of the worst communicator ever will be yours if you just follow and implement these few simple but vital rules:
1. Make sure you interrupt the other person/group all the time or at least as often as you have a chance. You are not listening and that is your goal. Try not to let the other person finish a sentence or a thought. Even saying “I’m sorry for disturbing, but…” is an interruption in itself, so feel free to use this phrase as often as you can. You will seem like you are apologetic, but in fact, you don’t care what the other person has to say on the topic. You only hear to respond, not to listen. Bring your point across. That’s your ultimate goal.
2. You are occupied with other tasks when having a conversation and not paying attention to the other person. This one is classic and so easy to achieve. She or he will notice you are losing focus and not paying attention, therefore not very interested in what is going on. Either you are too busy to commit 100% to the conversation or you simply don’t really care. You can for example:
- talk and watch your favourite series on Netflix
- teach your children how to draw and speak to them at the same time
- scroll through Facebook, Instagram,etc.
- watch news
- work on something else on the computer
- be occupied trying to cook
- watch a match
- play with your dog
Either of those will be fine. Message received.
3. Rambling is such a big one. Speak a lot of words that lead nowhere. There seems to be no beginning and no end just blabbing all the way. You will easily lose the other person’s attention after around 2 minutes, even if you have something important to communicate. All you need to do is: go around circles about the topic, get off the subject completely to never actually come back to it or go for “anyway so what was I saying?” Masterpiece.
4. You can also acquire some writing skills to help you win the trophy of the worst communicator ever. I suggest you write really long emails full of complicated words. Don’t forget to repeat yourself and write long sentences. Don’t try for your email to be to the point or with a conclusion or action in the end. Never. This way people will lose focus already at the beginning or drop reading the email altogether. Afterwards, if a related issue arises, you can always say ” but I sent you an email about that”. sorted.
5. Do not take into consideration the other person’s feelings. Talk only about yourself as this is the most interesting part of the conversation. Of course. Always and forever people need to know everything about you!
6. Body language is also very important and will give you extra points. If you speak to the person over the phone you can replace body gestures with sounds. The sky is the limit but the classic would be a loud yawn. If the conversation is in person, avoid looking in the eyes and or cross your arms during a conversation. This will give the other person an impression that you are closed, distant and not interested.
You are now fully trained on how to become the worst communicator ever!
Now jokes aside.
Do you actually see some of these signs in your behaviour? Perhaps they are not as exaggerated, but you can see some of the above signs? Be honest with yourself. You might just think about some coaching on how to improve your communication skills.
If this is the case, there is a great chance that people around you feel hurt or abandoned after speaking with you. They might actually be avoiding a conversation with you altogether. Maybe you feel like people are not telling you things? Maybe because you seem not to listen anyway?
Think about it.
Would you like to improve your personal and professional relationships by becoming an effective communicator?
I am a Professional Performance Coach, who is only a message away to support you and help you to become a better listener and effective communicator.